


meeting the brother??

by TheSubtextMachine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, I just want there to be more fluff and funny "meeting the parents" fics, I want my indulgent Jeff Goldblum fantasy sorry guys, M/M, Meeting the Brother (officially), cafe setting, done on a dare by my friend, instead of dark!fics with dubcon and that stuff, listen i have a crush on Jeff Goldblum and I'm gonna do what I want, shameless fluff, which is cool but it take up the whole tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 01:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15697071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSubtextMachine/pseuds/TheSubtextMachine
Summary: basically Thor hears the story of how these two wacky boyfriends got together.





	meeting the brother??

“So, uh, how did you meet?” Thor asked, running his thumb over the ceramic handle and taking a zen-like moment to listen to the rustle of the cafe before tuning back into his brother and his boyfriend(?).

“Is that not, uhh, obvious?” The Grandmaster asked back, and he was very pointedly not holding Loki’s hand, which would be an admirable reprieve from PDA if they weren’t very obviously playing the most ostentatious game of footsie ever.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure you guys met on Sakaar, but I was curious about the specifics,” Thor defended, and Loki very clearly ripped his foot away from what must’ve been a lobster grip between the Grandmaster’s calves so he could properly tell the story.

He only had a vaguely jilted look on his face, which he quickly remedied with a calming sip of sugar water and a needy poke in Loki’s forearm, which received a kind, wry smile that Thor could not begin to understand.

“Well, I crash-landed on Sakaar, I was more or less sprawled in the dirt,” Loki said, holding back a shudder from the memory of all the dust in his eyes, in his mouth, and everywhere else.

“And of course, we have the, um, ships that find v-valuable items, and he was certainly a valuable item. So he got picked up, cleaned up, and dropped at my feet, which was actually quite unusual, since they usually know how to walk of their own accord,” the Grandmaster said, taking another sip. Loki took a worried look into his mug, forgetting the story for a second.

“You are… a hummingbird,” Loki said, eyes flitting between the drink and the Grandmaster’s eyes, which were covered in eyeliner despite it being way too early in the morning for a full face of makeup.

“I guess I am,” he replied, blinking slowly, until Loki broke out into a smile and an eye roll, which brought a quick smile to the Grandmaster’s face. Thor supposed that this was some kind of inside joke, and it was one that he vaguely recognized from the first time he saw the two of them together. This time, however, it felt a bit sweeter. It certainly helped that this time, Thor was not being kept prisoner.

“So, the next part of the story… I help Loki strengthen u-up, because he was very hungry and tired from the whole space thing. He gets bathed by some of my underlings, and then he sleeps for a while, and I thought he was dead for a second, when I couldn’t wake him up. So I turned my back, right?” he asked, and Thor had the vaguest idea, mostly from personal experience, where this part of the story was going.

“Let me guess. Attempted assassination?”

“You got it!” the Grandmaster said, giggling a bit as he clapped his hands before continuing, “But I didn’t take it personally, or anything.”

“I _do_ try to assassinate most people, after all.”

“True, true,” Thor said, more than a few memories flickering behind his eyes.

“But he was still so tired, r-right? So he throws a dagger at me, but it only stabs the back of my shoulder! So I just pull it back out, heal that sucker right up, and turn it around.”

“I’ll be honest, I got pretty freaked out when he just tossed me the dagger and told me he’d get a target so I can work on my aim. This was when I realized that I was dealing with not only an insanely powerful man, but also a man who was more relaxed and chill than anyone else. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight…” Loki started, obviously giving the Grandmaster the cue for something they must’ve rehearsed at length.

“But it certainly was, uh, love at first stab.”

Thor was at a loss for words. This anecdote was cute in it’s own weird way, but was the Grandmaster seriously that powerful? Thor knew about the MELT stick, and the whole dictatorship thing, but the man himself seemed a bit weaker than his machines, so to say. 

“So, is that how you guys got together?” Thor asked, trying to move his own thought processes away from the scary reality of his brother’s boyfriend’s abilities.

“Oh, no, it’s just when we became interested in each other in a romantic sense. Loki played, uh, hard to get for a while.”

“Time works weirdly on Sakaar, so I can’t tell you how long it took, but I can measure the amount of time it took us to kiss by gifts I was given,” Loki said, grinning as the Grandmaster put his head in his hands.

“This part is always a bit embarrassing, you have to understand,” he said, his voice muffled through his palms.

“Five daggers, increasing in ornateness. Eight robes. Two-”

“Stop! Stop! I do not wish to be reminded of my silly crush!” he exclaimed theatrically, before Loki just continued in his tracks, aware of the fact that the Grandmaster was beginning to smile in his peripheral vision.

“Two stuffed animals. Three capes. One entire house-”

“How close are we to the end of this list?” Thor asked, in some sort of morbid curiosity. 

“Nowhere near.”

He blushed a bit with the realization that the Sugar Daddy jokes that Tony made weren’t entirely off base. How much else was Tony right about, in all his little quips about Loki and his boyfriend? Was that oddly timed space at Thor’s last house party, where both of them disappeared for a rough thirty minutes, really a “sex thing”, to quote Tony? What else was true?

“You see why I am so embarrassed? And this was all before we even got together. I mean, his arms couldn’t even fit that much bracelets! I was a fool!”

“Wait a second- how many bracelets did you get him?” Thor asked, trying to guess how many bracelets it would take before both of Loki’s arms would be completely covered.

“It’s not important,” said the Grandmaster as definitively as possible, fiddling around his long fingers on top of the table while Loki held back giggles. 

“So, how did you guys actually get together, after all the gifts?” Thor asked, with the desperate realization that he wanted to get as far away from the Sugar Daddy part of this story as he could.

“Well, we were on my orgy ship, right?”

There were many things to be said about the Grandmaster, but his ability to say the exact thing that Thor didn’t want to hear was unparalleled. Despite that, Thor tried to swallow down his visceral reaction to the words “orgy ship”, and nodded, inviting them to continue the story.

“And I was, ahh, _pondering_ , sipping on my Galaxy Juice-”

“It’s literally just liquified black glitter. He insists on calling it Galaxy Juice,” Loki said, almost performatively, like it was an aside to the audience in some grand Shakespeare play. While Thor’s mind had started to get lost in the question of how one liquifies glitter when his thoughts were interrupted by the Grandmaster continuing.

“I was wondering ’what haven’t I tried’? All kinds of gifts didn’t do, my subtle seduction hadn’t done it, but then it hit me. The one thing I never tried…” he said, pausing in a dramatic silence that dragged on a bit too long before he picked it up again ”...was just asking if he wanted to, uh, be with me.”

“And the answer was yes, I suppose?” Thor asked, sighing with relief that it wasn’t too explicit for this kind family diner. He took a sip of his coffee, and smiled at his brother, who’s eyes were downcast with a hopeful expression.

“It was an enthusiastic yes! In fact, three minutes later, on that very couch, we-” 

“Nope. I can see where that one is going,” Thor interrupted Grandmaster in his tracks. He knew the golden glint of that man’s eyes when he was about to tell a certain kind of story, and Thor didn’t want to get banned from another cafe. 

“It was pretty vanilla, to be fair,” Loki said, running his finger over the rim of his mug in a way that apparently caught the Grandmaster’s eye, based on the sudden shift of energy on that side of the table.

“But still great?” the Grandmaster asked, voice a bit deeper.

“Fantastic,” Loki said in response, looking straight into his boyfriend’s eyes, which Thor took as his cue to leave. He gave them both polite farewells, a pair of brotherly shoulder-pats, and then he raced out of there, hoping not to catch a glimpse of the show they so regularly put on.

 _What dumbasses_ , he thought, his sprint having calmed down to a brisk gait once he was a block away from the cafe, _Dumbasses who may be ridiculous, but dumbasses who are kind of perfect together._

At the very least, Thor was going to the hope that he can get Loki to get the Grandmaster to pull some strings and get him a really good birthday gift. If that man knew anything, it was gifts.

**Author's Note:**

> thx jordan for daring me to write this, I had a fun time. If u enjoyed, please comment and tell me so! Or if u have any requests, I have an open askbox on tumblr dot com @thesubtextmachine. Check me out!


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